RL4B: Relentlessly Looking For Beauty

A local author and writing coach, Molly Caro May, recently offered a month-long daily writing experience titled In the Middle of It . Her intention is to help you uncover and write your story during this time of Coronavirus and its impact. I joined immediately, eager for a structured outlet and time to journal. In the weeks leading up to yesterday, I was still processing my fear and anxiety ( see my last blog post ). But as yesterday dawned, I could see a light in the darkness. I was in that state of consciousness that's between deep sleep and being fully awake, a half-dreaming-half-reality sense of being - the place where you feel confident, content, and hopeful. For the first time in two weeks, fear was not on my mind. It felt like I was being lifted up and over my worries to see a larger picture. I could see a path winding across the landscape and a rush of energy and motivation urged me to follow it. I smiled and got out of bed, stepping lighter than I had in days. As I

I've never labeled myself as one who experiences anxiety. Sure, I've worried about and ruminated on life's challenges, but I've always considered it a mild, temporary state of being. Until Friday, March 13. As news of COVID-19 permeated our world that week, I'd done my best to distance myself, both literally and figuratively, from the crisis. I knew I was in the "vulnerable" category with my muscle disease, but felt pretty safe. This strategy of avoiding the drama had worked in the past for me, and I was content to stay in my optimistic bubble. Until I clicked on a link which was shared from a trusted organization. It was an opinion article from a doctor in Italy, and it shattered my little panic-free world. From its hyperbolic headline ( Stop Killing People ) to its dire claims of long-lasting effects if you even were to survive the coronavirus, the essay flipped a switch in the most ancient part of my brain that said, "You're in danger!