RL4B: Relentlessly Looking For Beauty

 This is Shawn (husband) writing.  Any misspellings and grammar anomalies are intentional because Lisa would appreciate it😀. Lisa is in the ICU at Mayo hospital.  There was a complication with her feeding tube placement (internal bleeding).  She is in stable condition at this point, the bleeding appears to have stopped.   The image associated with this post is her words to y'all.

Hello everyone! Here’s an update about my time so far at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota…   Travel :  We had about nineteen hours of driving, including stops, over two days. February weather is unpredictable across the northern part of the US, so we were prepared for anything. However, both days were clear and sunny, the roads completely dry with just a bit of wind.   I was worried about Covid risks with bathroom and meal breaks. We brought a cooler with food, and we sought out rest areas instead of gas stations. Each time we stopped, there were either no people around or they were just leaving. Every rest area but one had a family bathroom, a separate, single-stall room, that was perfect for us to use, especially since I needed Shawn’s help.   It was so smooth, it’s almost like Someone cleared the way.   Appointments & Testing : My week has been packed with appointments! This has meant early, early mornings to arrive on time, and late returns back to th...

Well, friends, I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. My health issues (that stem from my muscular dystrophy) just keep progressing and pushing to the front of the line, so they become the biggest part of my day. It seems like it's all I have to talk about. I want to change that. For the most part, I have no control over any of my symptoms (one of the MOST frustrating things). If I think about this for too long, I start to spiral into worry and anxiety. So, despite feeling yucky, or even when I get little pockets of energy, these are the distractions I use to keep my mind off of my complaints and focused on joy. Watch a Show Selection depends on my mental focus, so it could be a mindless competition like America’s Next Top Model or Blown Away. More often, I gravitate towards uplifting, feel-good shows like Queer Eye or Long Island Medium. Sure, they might make me cry, but in a good way. I’ve also found joy in rewatching movies from the nineties and early two-thousands. On...

2020 When I found out my sister’s baby was due a week after my October birthday, I knew immediately what I wanted to give my new niece for Christmas. I planned to sew a quilt using pre-cut squares my late grandmother had sent me a decade ago. These fabric pieces carried a lot of meaning as Grandma was known for making blankets and quilts for every child and adult in her family. I had made a couple of simple blankets before but never what you could call an actual quilt. When I told my husband, Shawn, about my project he bought me a new sewing machine for my birthday along with a table designed specifically for using the machine. I found a YouTube tutorial series that walked me through how to make my first quilt. I ordered supplies like safety pins, special rulers, and two yards of flannel backing. Grandma’s quilt squares were semi-organized and stacked in a cardboard box. I took my time sorting through the different patterns and counting the pieces available as I played with creating a...

Sometimes RL4B means relentlessly listening for beauty ( Here's an earlier post about it ). Part I -- Formation I can’t be sure of the year this story began, but it must have been around 2008 or 2009 because that’s when the guest song leader at church brought her guitar and sang calming, centering songs during prayer time. She made me think of Norah Jones or Jewel as I settled into the peace of the moment. I also can’t be sure of where I first found the Psalm, but since I have a distinct memory of it printed on a folded piece of white paper, it was probably on a worship program that I’d brought home. The verse was a modified NKJV translation of Psalm 130:5-6. It’s a prayer for mercy and forgiveness, and it’s a statement of hope and faith in God and redemption. “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word, I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord .  More than those who watch for the morning - Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.” The words resonated with me, and I d...

For decades, I've wanted to dye my hair a bright color, but each time I visited the salon, I'd go with something safe and traditional.  I convinced myself not to do it because "there was no good reason" I needed purple hair.   Instead I listed all the reasons against it.    It would just fade out, probably badly.    It would draw too much attention.    It would be unprofessional.    It would be a waste of money. But there's been a shift in my thinking. With the current state of the pandemic, I'm isolated and my routines and priorities have been turned upside down. What had once seemed an unwise, impractical fantasy now held the promise of novelty and whimsy. Any qualms I'd felt about other people's negative judgement began to fall away. The last few weeks have been rough as several of my concerning health symptoms from last winter have reoccurred. However, through guided journaling and an intentional mindset to live in the moment, I've b...

If you’re like me, you’ve been feeling the weight of the challenges and busy-ness around you. You’re tired all the time, and feel like you’re constantly playing catch-up with yourself and your family. The burnout is real, even for (especially for?) people like me who barely leave the house. Last week, I discovered a small pocket of rest and renewal in my routine. It was an experience that embodied the mantra printed on this sign (which was  one of nine gifts from my family  last winter when I was going through a dark valley). It is well with my Soul. As someone in the high-risk category for Covid with my severe respiratory condition, I’ve been avoiding public places and have been vigilant about masks and distancing. The choice to get a booster shot was and easy one, so I made an appointment at the health clinic hosted by the hospital. Along with my health and safety, I’ve also been paying attention to the stress and challenges my local hospital is facing. They are maxed out on...