Beauty on the Bad Days: God will provide

Last Friday I woke up feeling awful. 

I was severely bloated, my right foot was swollen so much my shoes barely fit, and my face was puffy. I felt short of breath and exhausted. I was struggling to find the beauty in the day.

I have been addressing high estrogen levels for about six months, but it has been slowly ramping up the last three months. I've been gaining weight with the extra fluids, but I have managed to cope on most days. Until Friday.

I stepped on the scale, and was defeated when I registered the highest number I’d seen in four years. Frustrated tears came to my eyes as I swallowed an extra dose of diuretics and thought about what I should  do.

I decided to call my naturopathic doctor who has been treating me for this problem. I knew it was unlikely that I’d get in to see her anytime soon, but I wanted to talk with her anyway.

When I explained the situation, her assistant told me there was a last-minute cancellation. She exclaimed, “Wow, his never happens! Can you come right now?” I said I’d be there in ten minutes.

Dr. Breana was compassionate and understanding. Sitting on pillows in a well-worn wicker chair, I visited at length about my worsening symptoms. Her fingers flew between her iPad's keyboard and my thick chart balanced on her lap. After completing her notes, she laid out my treatment plan. "Let's get aggressive for the next month." 

She increased the two supplements I was taking, prescribed a double-dose of another medication, and scheduled me for a CT scan to ensure there weren’t  any structural abnormalities. She referred me to physical therapy for lymphatic massage and sent me to a local pharmacy for compression socks.

As I left her office, I already felt better.

I drove to the pharmacy where I’d been a customer for the last four years. The three clerks behind the counter each took turns greeting me personally. "Hi, Lisa! It's good to see you!" Beth was happy measure me for the specialized socks. She also took time to put them on, stretching the tight fabric over my feet and legs.

When I got to the car, I sat for a moment, reflecting on the morning. I had gone from miserable and despairing to hopeful and uplifted. 

Then the true God-moment happened. 

One of my favorite songs came on the radio. It’s about being in a dark, negative, or disconnected space and deciding to choose joy instead.

Though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of night, 
with You by my side 
I’m stepping into the light. 
I choose JOY.

If I had any doubts that I was alone in my suffering, I had clearly been shown that God provides what I need, when I need it. 

It was beautiful.

Even if you don’t view the world through a Christian lens, you can experience Doorways like this, where you can glimpse a greater energy at work in your life.

What has God or the Universe provided for you?

Will you choose joy over despair?


Two amazing Doorways from this week:

  • I was driving home on a back road that passed through open fields and brilliant green trees. The sun was setting in the distance, so I slowed down and snapped a series of photos. When I reviewed them at home, not only was I struck by the beautiful moment, I saw what I refer to as a Spirit orb in all of the pictures. It was a bright blue ball of light traveling alongside me, a reminder of the hidden realm of energy around us. (see photo above)
  • I've been using a wheelchair for the past four years, but I had never taken it to a church service (opting instead to use my walking stick for the short distance). I'd also felt self-conscious about being in the way, and the church didn't have a good place in the sanctuary for the large chair. I finally worked up the courage to ask the pastor to rearrange the pews for me, and last week, I brought the wheelchair into worship for the first time. My fears were washed away as I felt welcomed and included. It was a beautiful feeling.


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