RL4B: Relentlessly Looking For Beauty

I have been doing dialysis over a month for acute kidney failure. Each day labs have been reviewed and checked for progress and each day my kidneys were still not functioning. During the last week, the labs indicated my kidneys were showing signs of waking up. Thursday’s dialysis was postponed followed by Friday’s and Saturday’s.  On Sunday, right after viewing church on line, the kidney doctor came in and announced my kidneys had improved enough I no longer needed dialysis. All at once, I smiled, clapped my hands, and my eyes filled with tears of profound gratitude.  I was overwhelmed by the positive impact it would have on my plans to come home.  However, I still have a big obstacle yet to overcome in healing my severe pressure wounds. This and physical therapy will be my main focus as I look toward discharge.   Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers. They’re working! Love, Lisa

I wanted to give a short update on the progress I've made and the long road ahead to recovery.  My heart rate has improved as well as some critical lab numbers. I’m off of all IV medicine, too.  I go to dialysis three times a week because my kidneys still aren't functioning. This is the biggest barrier to going home as I need to have the strength to sit in the chair for four hours. This is difficult because I have severe pressure sores on my bottom. I'll require several months of inpatient rehab and we are unsure where that will be.  Sometimes I feel hopeless but I'm determined to find bits of beauty and slices of joy amidst the pain. Some days are better than others so I have to remember to be kind to myself and trust that God is writing my story.

I’ve graduated out of the ICU (again!).  I’m now in a slow holding pattern of waiting for my kidneys to heal and start functioning and also work with physical therapists to regain some of my strength.   This last part, physical therapy, is exactly that.  It is very physical, taxing my energy to the limit, and is sometimes painful.  But I push myself to follow the therapist’s instructions as I know whatever gains I make will assure a better future.   My day consists of many visits by medical professionals.  They come in one at a time, in pairs or in groups.  There always seems to be a line at my door.   Your cards, flowers, and facebook comments lift my spirits each day.  Many times, it has been your support that I have needed to keep me going.  Thank you! Love, Lisa

  An Update From Kara:  Lisa is in the Mayo Clinic ICU still, but improving. Over a month ago, she came here for a feeding tube placement. And, after overcoming major complications with internal bleeding and kidney issues, she was all set to go home when about a week ago, she came down with a sepsis blood infection and her body went into septic shock. She was extremely fatigued, her kidneys stopped functioning, she had hypotension (low blood pressure), and a lot of fluid retention. Lisa was very sick, and to be honest, we didn’t know if she was going to make it. Doctors treated Lisa with many life-saving medications (up to eight IV bags hung at one time), several rounds of paracentesis (removing fluid from her abdomen), blood transfusions, and dialysis. The sepsis infection is now gone, her numbers are stable, her fluid retention is much better, her eyes are brighter, her voice has returned, and she’s been able to sit up once or twice a day. Currently, she is still on dialysis...

I've been at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota since February 15th. More than three quarters of the time has been spent in the ICU and the hospital. How am I doing? Honestly, it’s been a rough roller coaster. Although my body is SLOWLY healing, my mental health needs support.  I stand in the shadow of anxiety, loneliness, fatigue, frustration, and sadness.  Then gratitude, peace, strength, and optimism shine through the clouds. Eariler this week, I had my first and second panic attack in a series of lucid dreams. Mild hallucinations and imagined voices set in, too. It was scary. It was confusing. Some of what I imagined was kinda funny! When I talked to my doctors, they told me that I likely had a mild case of delirium caused by the disorienation, loud noises, and changing faces of a hospital. They told me my nightmares were typical and reassured me that I was safe. They gave suggestions for relief. Keep your mind occupied with puzzles, word searches, or other hobbies. Move ...

 Hey friends, After a rough week of being very sick in the ICU, I finally graduated yesterday to a regular hospital room! I still have several days of recovery ahead of me but I’m grateful for the positive progress. I appreciate your love and support. It sustains me and gives me comfort.  I will write more later. Love, Lisa

 This is Shawn (husband) writing.  Any misspellings and grammar anomalies are intentional because Lisa would appreciate it😀. Lisa is in the ICU at Mayo hospital.  There was a complication with her feeding tube placement (internal bleeding).  She is in stable condition at this point, the bleeding appears to have stopped.   The image associated with this post is her words to y'all.